The Random, The Pun, The Question Marks

Here's a random story that happened to me almost three years and some months ago. I recalled it recently and had to tell my friend Andrew because I figured it was right on his wave-length of humor. Of course, it is not something that goes so well read, as you will shortly understand.

So I was in my school's musical back in ninth grade. During practice one random day, I was wearing this shirt that I had bought in California. A girl standing across from me remarked, "That's a cute shirt! Too bad I could never fit it."
I had no clue how to respond to that. What was I supposed to say? "Oh, it would go fine on you."? "Work on losing that belly flubber and you'll be fine."? "I'm sorry you have such a pessimistic view of your own body."?
Regardless, I didn't have to worry. She just continued on with her talking and asked me, "How are you so skinny?"
A bit embarrassed at such a question, especially since I do absolutely nothing health or fitness wise to deserve such, I answer, "I think it's because of my genes."
In response, the girl says to me, "Girl, it's not, because if it was, I would've already bought them."

Obviously I am this skinny because I shoved myself into some size three jeans. No! Really now -_-;;

So my teacher was telling me a story the other day about his trucker brother. This brother happened to have to take a load from Northern Colorado to Souther Colorado, and he was driving on one of the narrow inner streets near downtown. He tried to light up a cigarette at a stoplight, but the line started moving so he accidentally flicked the lid off and spilled lighter fluid on his arm. Re-capping the lighter, that brother tried to re-light his cigarette. Genius that he is, he lit his arm on fire.
He rolled down his window and stuck his arm outside, waving his arm around. Unfortunately for him, a state patrol was driving behind him and pulled him over. He said to my teacher's brother, "I'm sorry sir, I'm going to have to put you in jail."
Throughly confused, the truck driver asks why, and the response he receives is, "Because you are in illegal possession of a firearm."