Goody Two Shoes

Is who most people think I am. And honestly, for me, it's super hard to think of a moment, when people ask the question, "What's the craziest / riskiest / most insane thing you've ever done?" One day, it suddenly came upon me - the craziest thing I've ever done is something few others can claim.

I've been pulled over and searched for a suspected drive-by shooting.


So, my church hosts a yearly fund-raising dinner called "Bua Tiec Cong Duc." Back in the days (around 2005 or 2006), I attended this dinner, and frankly, I was bored out of my mind. Luckily for me, a few of my friends were also there, and, like me, bored.

We decided that we should head over to the Target plaza and buy ourselves a football. Now, this Target plaza was not any happy, white, middle-class, suburban SuperTarget plaza - it was run-down, ghetto, mainly Latinos, next to broken-down Lakeside (long forgotten, rickety, falling-apart amusement park), shut down mall Target plaza. It was a shady place, where anything could have happened.

My friends Kenny and Phillip decided to walk over to Target, while I, along with my friends Gary, Kevin, and Nick, decided to go to my friend Viet's car. Now, I was the only misplaced one in the story. Kenny and Viet were brothers, Nick and Gary were brothers, and Kevin and Phillip were brothers - all six were cousins. Me, I was just a friend (as obviously stated before). And the only girl to boot. Dressed in clothes that I normally, would not wear (in my opinion, I looked like a girl who got around). Anyways, I digress.

So, Kenny and Phillip, the two walking souls, approached the issue in a most unconventional way - they decided to walk through the back, poorly lit, pot-holed parking lot where there was a security / police office. Needless to say, none of us were made aware of this last detail until much later on in the story.

Viet, leaving a bit later because he had to go start the car and get everyone in, decided to drive the back way. We were not planning on the other two walking through the back of the plaza, but upon seeing their shadowy figures cross the forlorn parking lot, we decided it would be fun to chase them. Yes. Stupid.

So Viet, in his rush of adrenaline, shut off his headlights, rolled down the windows, and gunned his engine. The rest of us car occupants, laughing along, stick out heads out the open windows and start yelling at Kenny and Phillip. Those two, reveling in the fun of the moment, choose to run.

The expected happened. Viet started sending the car after them. And then Kenny and Phillip dash into a thick growth of tree in a hilly median that Viet's car could not dream to overcome. Instead, Viet starts to guide his car around and is speeding up the hill, hoping to intercept Kenny and Phillip at the top, when two blue cars box him in without any room to back out or pull forward.

Angry men with stereotypical mustaches, uniforms, and black leather belts, hop out of the truck and SUV, shining their flashlights into our eyes. They yell at us to get out of the car and put our hands on the hood and trunk. The two little boys, Kevin and Nick, got to watch the chaos from inside. My hands were on the trunk with Gary. Viet, on the other hand, was not so lucky.

Being the driver, Viet was yanked rudely out of the driver's seat and thrown against the side of the car where he was forced to put his hands on the hood as they searched him over. Gary and I were given a quick over by the other guy, but not as thoroughly as Viet (being that we were both younger, without licenses of any sort, and, well, I was the only girl in the whole scene). When asked for our I.D.'s, Gary, with his ever jovial, upbeat tone of voice, pointed out that he was only 14. I peevishly stated that I had yet to bother with even getting a learner's permit. Throughout this hectic moment, we keep trying to convince the cops we meant no harm, and that Kenny and Phillip were related to us. Well, them, not me.

The first angry man starts yelling at Viet to get his driver's license (from his wallet, in the car), and has a baton or gun at Viet's back the entire time as Viet dug through his messily displaced possessions. Right about this moment, Kenny and Phillip, laughing merrily, decide to burst out of the trees to become our "saviours." Right.

Keeping on top of his game, the second officer yelled at Kenny and Phillip to put their hands on the hook of the security / police truck, and demanded an I.D. Phillip claimed he forgot his (I don't know if he even had one at the time), but Kenny had his.

Mister Security Cop Guy Number One decides to do a background check on the two people with I.D.'s, and upon glancing realized that they were telling the truth - Viet and Kenny were, indeed, brothers. Or at least living at the same address. Still, to save some face, or make it seem like he was a "tough guy," Mister Security Cop Guy Number One called up the police records people, gave over the names and I.D. numbers of Kenny and Viet, and made sure that their records were clean (which they were, fyi).

Afterwards, he gives us a brief, almost imperceptible apology, and tells us he thought we were trying to gun down Kenny and Phillip. We continue on to the buy the football, and as we leave, Viet clicks his engine into neutral, and Kevin climbs out of the car to see if he can push the car for fun. Another cop car comes up, watching us suspiciously, wondering if we were forcing a poor kid, aged maybe 10 or 11 at the time, to push the car.

As soon as Kevin climbed back into the car and we decided to seriously head back to the church, another car comes tailing Viet. We wonder if it's the security guys, back to harrass us, but when we give a closer inspection to the rearview mirror, and behind us, we see that it's a car with at least one Latino guy and one Latino girl. And they follow us almost all the way through the parking lot.

Freak, we were wondering where the security guys were then.